I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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