All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
accomplished twins. life is a go
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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