where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
