just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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