im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
