we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
She even gives head with a lisp.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
