hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Your cock deserves a montage
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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