i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
