this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
