My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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