let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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