I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
