what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
