I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
4 words: hood of his car
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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