We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
