PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I didn't notice because vodka
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
