quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
