He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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