i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I said "one day" and that day is not today
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
