I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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