It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
