You can't motorboat a personality
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
