its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
