I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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