Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
