This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Randomize
