Are we in a gay sports bar?
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
