Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
My dick has a subreddit
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
