It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Randomize
