dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Randomize
