What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
