My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
