you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
