is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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