i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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