a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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