he thought i was a dude.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
