Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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