Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Randomize
