Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
