He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
