He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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