bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
id be glad to
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
