I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
