my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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