This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
