Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
