I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
