Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
My penis needs a shock collar
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
