i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I don't deserve a penis
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
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