last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Randomize
