Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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