I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
you will always have a special place in my vag
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
not ubering you a puppy
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
