We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
