Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Randomize
