just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
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